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is the first show by people with mental illness for people with mental illness. Hosted by Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer, each episode looks at life through the unique lens of people living with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. New episodes every Monday on your favorite podcast player.


Michelle Hammer of Schizophrenic.NYC & Gabe Howard of


Oct 29, 2018

Gabe’s granny likes to say that the only thing you need to start a competition is two people. And while we all accept that people like to compete over their successes – who’s faster, prettier, or richer – it may come as a surprise to you that some folks compete over who is sicker.

Gabe dubs this contest “the suffering Olympics” and readily admits to having played this game, himself. “I wanted to prove I was sicker and it seemed important I was the sickest person in the room,” Gabe said after realizing what he was doing. “The reality is that we are all suffering, we are all afraid, and sharing those experiences doesn’t need to turn into a competition. In fact, it’s much, much healthier to not compete.”

In this episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast, Gabe and Michelle discuss who has it worse: Gabe for living with bipolar disorder or Michelle for battling schizophrenia. It shouldn’t surprise anyone how ridiculous such a discussion sounds. Listen in and learn from the two most competitive mentally ill people we know.


Highlights from ‘Mental Illness Suffering Olympics’ Episode

[0:30] Gabe and Michelle play the suffering Olympics.

[3:00] Gabe tells a ridiculous conference story.

[6:10] Michelle makes the case that people with schizophrenia “have it worse.”

[7:00] Gabe counters that people living with bipolar have a harder time and suffer more.

[10:00] The debate rages on, with each side describing the negatives of each mental illness.

[15:00] Gabe & Michelle take a moment to consider the appropriateness of this conversation.

[17:00] Michelle tells the story of how she made a woman cry.

[19:30] Gabe & Michelle discuss what makes them different from each other and take a moment to reflect on what they have in common.